There are times when I just want to run a comb through my hair.
There are times when I want to be able to roll out of bed and go out in public without looking like a nest of snakes is poised on my scalp to strike at any passerby.
There are times when I wonder if I can ever stick with a single hairstyle for five years.
My five-year mission: to explore strange new hairstyles, to seek out ways to keep locks neat and clean, to boldly go where no man has gone before with dreadlocks.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Metathought ramble about dreadlocks
File under slow feedback: a friend told me this week that my locks look much better than when I started them. "They looked horrible," she said.
That is the tricky thing about perception in the early 21st century. Nobody-but-nobody was afraid to treat blacks poorly when Black Like Me was being written, but now we're much more subtle about how we treat people. We can't judge a book by its cover . . . or admit to it, anyway.
You can get a little paranoid about this stuff. You look for non-verbal cues that suggest they're distracted by the hair, but it's harder to find clues that someone is negatively impacted by it.
What I don't want to do is get sucked up into a thoughtcrime cycle - some of the most egregious examples of racism are (over)reactions to a perceived racist threat from whites. Can't they see that they're inciting this, I rant as I'm following the news.
Well, maybe they can't.
If I allow myself to think about it (which is pretty much when I'm blogging, but rarely else), I can definitely see the difference in how people treat me. The friend who said, "People won't take you seriously," meant, "I won't take you seriously." The man who suggested I don't hide them during my political campaign is treating them more like a scandal to be managed than a personal style choice. The friend who just told me how bad she thought they looked felt that way for months, and probably still does.
Or does she?
When I don't plug my hair into the analysis, I find that I remain as I always was - sometimes puzzled by how people act. It makes us feel safer if we know what motivates other people. Since we can never be sure, it's much easier to just ascribe a motivation of our choice. If the one you pick doesn't feel very sensible, give it time: you'll find plenty of evidence of your theory once you're thinking about it.
Thing is, I can walk around expecting people to treat me differently because I have dreadlocks, or not. Whether I do or not, some number is going to discriminate in some way because of my hair. Others will not. At the end of the day, I can be all pissed off about how I was treated, or I can not even remember it.
If I go looking for a fight, I'm sure to find it. If I don't, one might find me anyway. The former keeps me stress-free and positive, but the latter will probably give me more to write about.
I will never possess sufficient curiosity to write a convincing fight scene.
That is the tricky thing about perception in the early 21st century. Nobody-but-nobody was afraid to treat blacks poorly when Black Like Me was being written, but now we're much more subtle about how we treat people. We can't judge a book by its cover . . . or admit to it, anyway.
You can get a little paranoid about this stuff. You look for non-verbal cues that suggest they're distracted by the hair, but it's harder to find clues that someone is negatively impacted by it.
What I don't want to do is get sucked up into a thoughtcrime cycle - some of the most egregious examples of racism are (over)reactions to a perceived racist threat from whites. Can't they see that they're inciting this, I rant as I'm following the news.
Well, maybe they can't.
If I allow myself to think about it (which is pretty much when I'm blogging, but rarely else), I can definitely see the difference in how people treat me. The friend who said, "People won't take you seriously," meant, "I won't take you seriously." The man who suggested I don't hide them during my political campaign is treating them more like a scandal to be managed than a personal style choice. The friend who just told me how bad she thought they looked felt that way for months, and probably still does.
Or does she?
When I don't plug my hair into the analysis, I find that I remain as I always was - sometimes puzzled by how people act. It makes us feel safer if we know what motivates other people. Since we can never be sure, it's much easier to just ascribe a motivation of our choice. If the one you pick doesn't feel very sensible, give it time: you'll find plenty of evidence of your theory once you're thinking about it.
Thing is, I can walk around expecting people to treat me differently because I have dreadlocks, or not. Whether I do or not, some number is going to discriminate in some way because of my hair. Others will not. At the end of the day, I can be all pissed off about how I was treated, or I can not even remember it.
If I go looking for a fight, I'm sure to find it. If I don't, one might find me anyway. The former keeps me stress-free and positive, but the latter will probably give me more to write about.
I will never possess sufficient curiosity to write a convincing fight scene.
Friday, September 2, 2011
It's the little things
You wouldn't think that hair washing could be exciting, but I had a moment.
Ever since the first time I washed my locks, my technique has been to get really down into the scalp for a scrub, and squish the shampoo carefully through the locks before wringing them out. I was originally concerned about ripping the new locks apart. and then fell into a habit.
Well I don't wear a stocking my head anymore (even if I wanted to, there's just no way it would fit now), and I don't squish my hair like it's a delicate flower, either. I tried going back to washing my hair like it's, well, hair. Flopping it around. Getting it messy.
The locks held up fine. And it felt great.
That is all.
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